Valentine Blues

The Kathmandu Post

12 feb

o red roses. No chocolates. Not even wine and cheese this time around on the Valentine’s Day,” a friend of mine furiously told her spouse. He is a full-time corporate executive and a part-time college teacher and has everything to shower on his Valentine—except time. Corporate profession is what he is academically trained for and teaching is his passion. He spontaneously shot back, “I do go out with the family.” When my friend said, “Oh! Really?” annoyingly, he answered, “Yes. I take you guys to the best eateries in the city every month. We go on vacations twice a year. What more do you want!”

Anguished, my friend nodded, “True, you take us to these places but just pause a while and consider the actual time you spend with us. You are either speaking on your mobile phone most of the time offering round-the-clock service to your clients or on your sleek Toshiba laptop preparing lecture notes. When you are bored, you sneak out to the pool saying, ‘It’s been long since I last went swimming.’ In a nutshell, we hardly have an hour or so together.” She even substantiated her point, “If you think I am exaggerating, ask Ani and Sid (their teenage daughter and son).” Ravin, my friend’s spouse, blushed while I was quietly enjoying the conversation that took place over the dining table when I was invited for dinner last week.

The other day, my niece called me to ask about my Valentine’s Day plans. She hung up in haste when I told her that everyday is like a Valentine’s Day for me. Calling her back, I found out that she was quite put off as her spouse was travelling and she had no one to speak with on Valentine’s Day. Intriguingly, I thought of calling a few of my close friends to ask about their plans for the Feb. 14. Not to my surprise, I found most of them to be busy either travelling or meeting their work-related deadlines. They simply did not have time to plan for rejoice the togetherness.

These are just a few examples of how easily people these days give up the opportunity of being together. I am not advocating to date on Valentine’s Day, neither arguing for the use of your credit cards to buy precious gifts nor settling for a lavish candle-lit dinner—just for the sake of doing so.

It’s so painful to see people becoming so busy and simply ignoring an opportunity of being together and sharing priceless moments with their family and friends, as rejuvenating family ties and friendships is known to help build inner strengths and cultivate feelings of warmth and care. This is how one spreads happiness and positive vibes to the self and to people around him/her. The energy released from this kind of positive vibe helps people glow and become confident to take on new challenges in life.

As they say, happiness is a matter of choice, a way of being. It’s a skill. It’s not a final destination. It’s a process. It’s a journey. It’s a byproduct of a life well lived. Science has proven long back that there is a strong linkage between longetivity and happy emotions.

Happy emotions not just temper negative feelings but also significantly contribute to reducing your treadmill time. Just a few giggles a day would be enough to help keep your heart healthy and burn some calories. Laughter activates the ‘feel-good chemicals’ in the brain just like cycling, jogging or walking boosts the production of endorphins.

Experts have argued that people with positive emotional vibes can resist colds and influenza much better than those who remain alone and fret and brood over things again and again. Therefore, happiness has to be contagious to spread through our social networks like a friendly virus to make everybody happy.

So, it’s simple. Don’t get furious on and around this Valentine’s Day even if you are alone. Just bring that smile on your face. Rekindle yourself with warmth and creativity by caring for others even if he or she is not your so-called Valentine. Go out and celebrate the Day, for instance, by visiting elderly homes or orphanages. Lovely young and old-ones there are longing to share their part of happiness with you. So, be happy and go lucky this Valentine!

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